Ask Cindy: Where Is His Justice?

I thought my ex husband would have bad karma because he cheated on me with my best friend of 23 years. Now they are married and he found a great job. I live in this apartment with my daughters and he lives in a house and has a new car. I thought life would be better for me because I took all the pain and suffering. My husband says he knew he wanted her years ago and he had a plan to get her and now he does. Where is his justice? ~ Jamie in Washington

He hurt you and obviously had no concern about your feelings. I can understand why you are wishing bad karma on him. You really do not know all of the details of his life. It may not be as rosy as you paint it out to be. He could hate his job or have a horrible boss. Him and his lady might fight every night. His new car might be a lemon. He might be so much in debt that he can’t afford a night out. You really have no way of knowing all the details of his life.

Concentrate on what makes you happy and stop being so concerned about his life. What can you be grateful about regarding your apartment? Does it have a handyman to fix the appliances when they break, a pool, lawn maintenance, good neighbors or cheap rent?

Are your daughters happy and healthy? Material things never make a person happy - sure they bring joy for a few days or weeks.

Count your blessings. I know it’s difficult at first, but it is important for you to begin a gratitude journal. Every night before you go to bed, list five things that happened that day that you are grateful for. In the morning when you wake, ask yourself what new and exciting things can you find during the day to be grateful for. It might be watching hummingbirds buzz around, sitting in a hot-tub, listening to the rustling of the leaves as the wind dances through them or a smile from one of your daughters.

Your ex will have his own ups and downs in his life. No one has a perfect life and everyone has their own trials and burdens that they must carry. Where is his justice? You may never see it or know, so it is time for you to forgive and let go as you concentrate on creating a wonderful life for yourself!

Interesting the way life works, is that when you are wishing bad karma on another person, you reflect that back upon yourself. When you pray for them and wish them well, you are reflecting good upon yourself. You may be interested in this short video with Oprah and Marianne Williamson on Forgiveness and principle of divine compensation.