Whether you are hoping to find love again or not, the “fear of being alone after divorce” is top on the list of fears. Being alone does not equate being lonely. Keep in mind that there is nothing as lonely as being alone in a relationship.
What do you fear about being alone after divorce?
When divorced women are asked this question, their replies are pretty similar. They are afraid of sleeping in bed while being alone in a house as well as wondering what they will do when they encounter broken dishwashers, pipes, garbage disposals and toilets as well as dealing with car repairs including minor maintenance items such as changing the windshield wipers or changing the oil.
You are a smart woman and will figure most things out. If it is beyond your capabilities remember that there is never any shame in asking for help. People will show up in your life at just the right time to help you.
Replace your fear of being alone to one of gratitude. Make a list of every positive reason you can think of that being alone is good. Some things to consider are you can eat what you want when you want. If you do not feel like doing the dishes, you can leave them in the sink over night. On the other hand, there is no one else to pick up after. The TV and the remote are totally within your control. You can go to bed when you are tired and turn out all the lights. No one will steal the covers off you while you sleep. You do not need to consult with anyone else to make plans.
Here are nine tips to banish fear of being alone after divorce
1. Have a list of family members and friends that you can call any time night or day if you are feeling afraid or fearful.
2. Make it a weekly habit to call a friend and to go out with a friend or two.
3. Reconnect with who you are. Find yourself. What are your passions? What do you enjoy doing? Go out and try things that you always wanted to try and experiment with new activities every chance you get.
4. Keep a journal. Writing heals the soul. Write about your daily life as well as your anger, fears and joys. When you write, just let it flow from your mind to your hand to the paper. Do not worry about perfect grammar or if what you are writing makes sense or not.
5. Keep a gratitude journal. Every night before you go to sleep, write down five things that you are grateful for that day. When you wake in the morning, tell yourself you are grateful for a bright new day.
6. Accept the peace and quiet as good things. Use this time to read good books or listen to classical music.
7. Get involved. Sign up for yoga or cooking class. Join a women’s sports team. There are numerous groups and clubs that you can join. Do some research and join the ones that interest you. You can find them in your local chamber of commerce, newspaper and online.
8. Serve others. Check with your religious organization to see how you can help out there. Volunteer at homeless shelters, soup kitchens, domestic violence centers, schools or hospitals.
9. Love yourself and be patient. Accept that you are human and it is a natural feeling to fear being alone after a divorce. Understand that what you are really afraid of is the unknown. You had your life all planned out and that plan has gone down the drain. Now you do not know what to expect and have a hard time visualizing a different life. By following, the nine tips to banish your fear of being alone after divorce you will soon find that you can be happy and thrive while being alone!
