5 Ways Your Divorce Can Make You Stronger

Divorce Can Make You Stronger Going through your divorce is probably one of the most trying times in your life. It’s hard to imagine that it might actually make you stronger (and happier). However, when you get through this dark tunnel, the light you’ll come into will be so bright and radiant and wonderful that you’ll feel like a brand new you. It’s OK to feel your feelings and grieve for the marriage that you thought would last forever. But, it’s also OK to learn from your divorce and become a stronger woman on the other side of it.

1. Self-sufficiency

Most women never see it coming, which means they aren’t prepared to be completely independent. It’s expensive to run a household on one income. Even if you and your husband had a lot together, or even if you supported the household, you’ll have to learn to rely on yourself like never before. Not having that support or backbone, whether it’s changing the air filters or paying the mortgage, is a huge adjustment. Trust yourself and take pride in the fact that you are doing it. Will you struggle? Most likely. However, the rewards are great when you realize that you CAN do it. Just you. By yourself.

 2. Let Me Introduce You to….YOU

That sounds silly, right? But it’s true. Your identity may have been entwined with being “his wife” and now you can reintroduce yourself to yourself. Figure out what you like. Where you like to go. What you like to do. Most people think that sounds absurd, however there are parts of you that you may have ignored or not explored because those parts didn’t seem to fit well into the marriage. Well, now you can explore yourself and get to know yourself and become your own best friend. This will actually make you happier, a better woman, daughter, mother, sister, and friend.

3. Confidence

At first, your confidence was probably shattered. It may still be fragile. But in time you’ll come to realize what a wonderful person you are, and see yourself in a different light. You can find yourself, your strength, and your inner-goddess. Find one thing that you like about yourself, even if it’s your hair or your eyebrows. Look at yourself every day and appreciate that about you. As time goes on, add to your list. Next thing you’ll know there will be a long list of features and qualities about you that you find beautiful. At the end of the day, that’s what matters. No one else will be in your head when you close your eyes every night or open them every morning.

4. What You Want and Don’t Want

Going through the emotional and mental roller coaster of divorce can be used to your advantage if you let it. Determine all the things you do and don’t want. In yourself, in your partner, in your household, in your life. Keep ongoing lists of each of these areas and any others you can think of. Concentrate on the things that you do want, but remember that we determine what we do want based on what we learn we don’t want.

5. Respect

Knowing yourself, and in turn knowing your worth, will cause you to respect yourself like never before. This will also help you carry yourself in a way that demands respect by all others. Learn how to say “no” and be OK with that. Don’t apologize for it. It’s really OK to do what you want to do, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. Let pettiness and petty people work their way out of your life. People treat you the way you teach them and allow them to.

Try to see your divorce as another lesson in life. Hold your head up high, you will get through this and you will come out of this an amazing, strong woman. Stay focused on learning and applying changes that you want to apply to create the life you want to live.

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  1. Kaya says

    So far I am doing all this. And yes it does hurt sometimes. After divorcing my cheating ex of 20 years I thought it is the end of the world. Instead it is freeing. I have a wonderful, peaceful happy luff now. I don’t have to try so hard to believe his lies. I am so liberated. It takes a long time but I have accepted that the past is gone. I hope he finds happiness in his affair or relationship with the young co worker. I have my wonderful smart son. What does he have ? Access to hot sec every night. Please. Your family is the most precious thing in life. Walking away is a selfish act with horrible consequences. Like in my situation , my divorce petition. I am over it now but indeed it was a rough road. But I am in the light now, no more darkness. And it feels great.

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