Here in the United States we are about to observe Independence Day. It is a time to reflect on our freedom as we celebrate with fireworks and barbeques. Claim your personal freedom by breaking free from the emotional chains that you are bound to.
Choose to view your divorce as a gateway to freedom. A life where you are free to choose who you want to be. There is no reason to live in the past as a bride chained to all of her hopes and dreams.
Emotional chains are linked together by negative emotions such as blame, regret, guilt, anger, revenge and hatred. Women going through divorce often experience a time of being bound by these emotional chains, whether they initiated the divorce or not. Long before the divorce process began or was even mentioned, the links of the chain were being formed.
What emotional chains are you holding onto from your marriage and divorce? Most if not all negative emotions can be traced back to blame. If you are feeling remorse or guilt you are blaming yourself. If you are feeling hate, anger and revenge, you are blaming another person.
Regardless of what happened, it is said, done and over with. There is no going back. You cannot turn back the hands of time. Every time you rehash the hurtful things that were said and done, you are reliving the pain in the moment and strengthening the emotional chains of bondage.
Forgive your ex. Forgive yourself for any part you played in your divorce. Something was triggered in one or both of your minds that set this path into motion.
You might ask how or why should you forgive your ex? The answer is to set yourself free. Forgiveness is not approving of what happened. It is acceptance of what happened. It is releasing the emotional chain that is keeping you bound. It is choosing to let go of the anger and blame and to focus on all that is good in you and in your life.
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
Catherine Ponder
Negative emotions chain you to a past.On the other hand it is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions. By now you are probably thinking that this does not make sense.
As a human being you will experience ALL emotions. As people we label emotions as negative or positive. To put it more simply emotions make us feel good or bad. No one wants to feel bad. We all want to be happy and to be loved and accepted for who we are.
In order to totally let go of an emotion, we need to feel it. Once you have felt it to its entirety choose to let it go. Allow yourself to grieve over your marriage and to grieve over the life you thought you would have. Saying good-bye to a life you thought you would have is only as hard as you make it out to be. If you wallow in the whys or if only’s it will be difficult because you are standing at the doorway saying “I don’t want to go!”
Step out of that doorway and find FREEDOM! Focus on emotions that make you feel good. Think of a person or experience that brings you joy. This could be your child, grandchild, a pet or a favorite vacation spot.
Explore what the big beautiful world has to offer you and you will soon realize that it is not so scary after all.
“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”
Elizabeth Gilbert
“The moment the slave resolves that he will no longer be a slave, his fetters fall. Freedom and slavery are mental states.”
Mahatma Gandhi
