Ask Cindy: I Miss My Ex, How Can I Stop the Urge to Call or Text Him?

I am having a real hard time in my life. I miss my ex-husband so much! He helped me in so many ways when we were married. I want to text or call him but I’m trying my hardest not to. He may not even reply to me and that will hurt more. I need some advice.  ~Lori in Washington

First off, understand that it really is okay that you still have feelings for your ex. However, at the same time it is imperative to accept that he does not love you and that your marriage is over. It’s very hard emotionally to let go of something that we so desperately want. It’s also hard to break old habits. A lot of what you said relates to your every day habitual communication with your ex. You miss that. You also miss the things he did for you.

Every time we let go of something, we need to replace it with something else. Therefore, make a list of all of the things he did that you are missing. Next, write down how you can accomplish these things yourself. Can you learn to be a handy-women around the house? If not, is there a family member or friend that can help? Find a solution to each of these.

As far as wanting to text or call him is concerned, could this be because you are spending most of your day thinking about him? Find some new hobbies. Find some friends to go out with. Go to school or volunteer somewhere. There are tons of things that you can do to keep you busy. Here are 10 things for a woman to do after divorce. Start brainstorming things that you can do. When you begin doing new things and meeting new people some the loneliness and despair you are currently feeling will start to fade.

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