Ask Cindy: My Ex Put My Child’s Life in Danger

I picked my four children up from their dads this morning to take them to school. Here it is two hours later and I am still fuming. Whilst with their dad for the weekend, the four children, plus dad and his girlfriend went swimming. They went in two cars as they don’t have one big enough for all of them to fit in. On the way to go swimming (about one hour away,) they past a traffic accident and there were some police cars on the other side of the road.

As my ex drove past, one of the police turned its lights on and started to drive. My ex’s car had no valid tags, so he quickly pulled off the road and drove down random roads before leaving the car in someone’s field. He freaked out because he was caught by the police last year for driving with fake tags and no insurance. His girlfriend picked them up and they then drove the rest of the way to swimming all in one car. One of my children did not have a seatbelt. Obviously, they all drove home again without enough seatbelts and out to a restaurant for dinner the following night.

He has always been irresponsible and done stupid things. He never seems to learn his lesson as you can see from above. I am so angry that he put the child’s life in possible danger. What am I supposed to do? I am seriously thinking about keeping them away from him as I am so tired of his stupidness.

I totally understand your frustration. It is normal to be angry and to be tired of his irresponsibility. Use this anger to your advantage by thinking of logical ways you can prevent this from happening again. Your children’s safety is of utmost importance. You stated that you are thinking about not allowing him to see the children. This might get you in trouble with the courts, which could be costly.

What I suggest you do is contact an attorney or legal aid in your state. Tell them that you feel you ex is putting your child’s life in jeopardy. They will be able to tell you what your legal rights are regarding this situation. This way you will be fighting smart. Ask them if it is possible to put an article in the parental agreement that states that all children must be buckled up and that the father is not allowed to drive the children if he does not have a drives license, insurance or legal tags on the vehicle. If it is in the court order, he could get into more trouble legally by transporting the children unlawfully.

You may also want to call your local Child Protective Service department and explain what happened. They probably will not do anything but the incident will go on file. What you are doing is gathering evidence. Or on a simpler note, you can just keep a notebook with times, dates and facts of situations that occur.

Think long and hard before you take any action. You need to ask yourself how it will affect the children, how it will affect you and if it is a battle worth fighting. For instance, what would happen if you simply told him not to take the children anywhere without a seatbelt and if that is not possible, he can call you for the safety of the children. Sit down and write down every possible solution and what the repercussions may be. Then choose the one that feels right to you.

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Filed Under: Ask Cindy

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