Getting divorce support is a part of the healing process. It allows you to let go and move on with your life. You need to be able to feel safe in sharing your feelings and the support needs to be able to allow you to be in the drivers seat.
It may appear to be difficult to get the type of divorce support you want and need. You may have a hard time opening up and sharing intimate details that led to the divorce. On the other hand, family and friends may be more in the mood to “Bash the Ex.” They may tell you things like you are better off without him, especially if you were in an abusive relationship or if he had an affair. Even if these situations did not apply, your family may not have ever seen any good in your ex.
For some reason, you were drawn to this man, you fell in love with him and married. At the time you married him, you believed that it would be forever. You had high hopes and dreams. You had a picture in your mind of what your life would look like. You saw the two of you growing old together, celebrating loving holidays with your children and grandchildren.
Now reality hits you smack dab in the face. The marriage is over. Your dreams are squashed. You feel lost and alone. You know you need divorce support. You do not know which way to turn. Even if you may not have like the way things were in your marriage, you knew what to expect. There was a routine. Now you have no clue what lies ahead. You feel terrified that you will have to face it alone. Getting support after your divorce is a part of the healing process that will enable you to move on
There are three types of divorce support to consider. Many women experience a greater transformation when they utilize a combination of all three types of support.
- Family and Friends may be able to offer divorce support and advice if they are able to refrain from voicing their own opinions. If possible, choose a few close family members or friends to be your confidants. Explain to them exactly what type of support you want and need. You might want to tell them, that bashing your ex is not helping you to heal. To be supportive, they will need to be willing and able to listen to you when you need to talk and allow you to feel however it is that you need to feel at that moment. If you are remembering good times about your ex or bashing him, they need to be able to restrain from bashing him. When people bash your ex, you may go into a defending mode.
- Groups. There are many online and offline divorce support groups for women. Depending upon the women involved these can actually be a great way to get divorce support. On the other hand, they can be just a group of man hating women, who sit around bashing men telling one another that they do not need a man in their life and that they are better off without one. Ask to join our private Facebook group, Divorce Support Group for Women. It’s a place where you can share your struggles and challenges without fear of being judged or criticized.
- Coaching or Counseling for private one-on-one divorce support. There is a BIG difference between coaching and counseling. A coach will help you to develop a plan to create the life that you want and support you along your journey. A coach can offer solutions and advice from a different perspective, since they are not involved emotionally. Most counselors will rehash your past from your childhood to your present
Begin, by taking the Divorce Recovery Compass assessment and receive some important next steps based on where you are in the divorce recovery process. My promise to you is that you will come away with hope and feel inspired with one or two techniques that will empower you to let go of the past and move forward with ease.