Consider the following “voices” as it relates to your divorce and your life:
- I am not a good person
- I am not worthy enough
- I am not pretty enough
- I am a failure
As the voices in your head continue to SHOUT these statements , you begin to believe them. You start looking for mistakes you made along the way to prove these statements are true.
- How often have you told yourself the statements above?
- Are these some of the voices you hear?
“The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people’s expectations.” ~ Julia Cameron
You are a beautiful, magnificent, strong woman! You get to determine who you are. The actions and words of others do not belong to you, unless you choose to accept it as your truth.
Let me ask you, why would you accept as your truth that you are unworthy or unlovable?
These voices in your head, are not your truth. They are the voices of other people’s expectations or beliefs about the world we live in. When you hear these voices, stop and ask yourself:
- Is this my belief - my voice - or that of someone else? (When you really take the time to ponder this question, you might determine that is the voice of your parents, siblings, a teacher, friend or your ex.)
- Is it true? (If it is your truth, then it will feel good to you. If it doesn’t feel right or natural, then it is the voice of another.)
- How would my life be different if I choose to ignore that voice? (Would you show up in the world differently? Would you be more courageous? Would you be more willing to share your gifts with the world?)
Know that many of the voices you hear are not yours, even if you think they are. You may think that because you don’t know whose voice it is, that it is yours. Sometimes, you may not be able to trace whose voice it is because it could be something you overheard when you were a very small child that at that time you decided was true. You have the right to choose a different thought right here and now. What thought do you choose to believe is true?
God gave you your gifts, your talents, your desires for a reason. You are you for a reason. No one else could ever be you. Your “original self” is the woman you are meant to be. It is who God intended for you to be. Your voice softly whispers:
- I am strong
- I am beautiful
- I am worthy
- I am valuable
- I am loveable
- I am a winner
- I am enough
And it is these whispers that are being crowded out by all the voices in your head that are shouting at you that you do not live up to their expectations. These voices are not your friends. They keep you stuck. They keep you feeling bad. They prevent you from taking risks. They prevent you from trusting yourself. They prevent you from living the life God intended you to live.
Another thing to realize, is that you are listening to all of these voices, because a part of you might believe that you need to be perfect in order to be worthy, loveable, valuable, strong, and to be a good person. The truth is that you are perfectly you. It is the belief that you need to be perfect that may be the reason you listen to these voices.
When the voices in your head begin to shout these untruths, simply say, “Thank you for your opinion. I choose to believe that I am beautiful, strong and worthy.”
You might want to call these voices gremlins. Know that they will always be around. However, with practice, your truth, your original self, the essence of you are, can become louder and more prevalent. My vote is on you! Your ability to ignore all of these gremlins that do nothing to serve you or your purpose in the world.